you may say i'm a dreamer,

!!!

2011-09-26T00:16:00.002+08:00

12:19am. still studying :(
great that i forgot there's TWO tests tomorrow. i only remembered BIO and i forgot about PHY walao. six chapters. i've no idea how to digest.

gotta work really hard.. less than one month. scary month. non-stop tests and exams almost every day until UEC ends. save it out from this. stressed.
this result decides everything. that's why i really have to work very very hard ! no matter study until 2am or 3am i gotta do it.. i cannot leave any regrets in my life.

HMM!! can't wait until UEC ends man !!
graduate soon.. mixed feelings :S
ahhhhhh.. i don't want us to fall apart, s3xiao :( miss you guys. :( :(
i guess i will cry so hard during graduation day. oh no........................

又来

2011-09-18T13:54:00.001+08:00

人喜欢在遇到挫折是，将已经很堕落的自己继续堕落下去。

我也是这样。
或许这样会让自己好过及舒服一点。

it's the day.

2011-09-04T23:39:00.003+08:00

"HAPPY" SCHOOL RE-OPEN.

what a damn 'nice' holiday because i didnt watch any of the movies.
damn it.

纳闷

2011-08-29T22:23:00.003+08:00

我的心情真的很纳闷，2天了，为什么？
不是很清楚

可能是很多很烦的事情堆积在一起吧？
很闷很闷的心情，不是没有事做的那个闷，而是很纳闷的闷。

很想发泄！很想打球
篮球羽球排球什么都好。真的，很没有心情。

:(

2011-08-20T22:11:00.003+08:00

so sad lah. arsenal lost to liverpool :(
and i watched it online, even worse. keep lagging.
but the worst thing was, i failed to watch how they lost because of the freakin' internet connection. it kept buffering and stopped loading at the very moment !!!!
)(#)@(!@)#_!@) arghh.

idk why my mom wanna watch that freakin' oldpeople singing competition final. she never watch it before, suddenly she wanna watch and i can't watch EPL live on tv T____________T

I FEEL SUCK NOW OH :(((

缘分

2011-08-17T15:23:00.002+08:00

你身边是否有这样一个人，
你可以不顾形象在他面前，要多丑有多丑，因为他已经看惯了。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
要借钱就借钱，但也可以很厚脸皮地一直追钱，双方都不会生气，还觉得很好笑。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
就算天天都可以见面，回到家FB或是SMS还是可以有很多话聊。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
哭了，就算他不再你身边，他SMS的几句话，足够让你欣慰到又哭得更厉害。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
你们的话题总是很多，但就是很少会去说别人是非。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
就算你有过什么样的背景故事，他还是很在意你。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
不管别人在后面怎么说你的坏话，他始终相信你。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
他可能已经不再你身边了，不想肉麻但其实你还是很想他的。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
他遇到了问题，你无法帮他解决的时候你会自责。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
虽然你们常常嘴硬拽对方，但是彼此还是很在意对方。

你身边是否有这样一个人，
哪怕只有一个，一个也足够。

我感到很幸福，因为我身边有不止一个这样的人。
今天不知明天事，你真的无法去预料明天会发生什么事。
所以，每天都要珍惜身边的人。有什么话不要等到最后一分钟才说。
不要怕肉麻，不要害怕，不要害羞。因为，或许明天你就会失去他。

i love you my friends :')

understanding

2011-08-13T20:40:00.000+08:00

i'm trying to be better. trust me.

i do care.

shits.

2011-08-09T23:29:00.003+08:00

anger anger anger in my heart ! my whole body..
idontknowbutifeellikescholdingitalloutshitmanshitmanineverthoughtthatilldislikeyoubutgirlireallydislikeyouknowthoughwearefriendsitriedhardnottobutyouaregettingmynervesonidontknowwhatihaddonetoyoubutiknowmyselfihaddonenothingonyouiknowsheistryingtogainsympathyfrompeoplebutidontlikeitpleasejustgetoveritbecauseheisnotthereforyouanymorepleaseithoughtwearefriendsbutnowyouhadcrossedtheborderlineyouaremakingthisseriousyouaremakingitobviousstopdoingstufflikethisorelseidontknowwhatiwilldotoyou. shit

dear friends.

2011-08-03T16:47:00.003+08:00

i was suppose doing math now. argh but i wanna update this damn dead blog.
and i've so much feelings inside that i wanted to express it out by words.
but i just can't spill the words out.

dear friends.
you can have many friends.
but by the time you all go through something tough, you'll understand that who's the one that care you the most, and who's the one that will be there for you when you're down.

two years. best friends. fake. define fake. mirror reflection. reflects your own personality. small incident. understanding. leave. backstabbing. pretender. break up. lost. end.
i can't think of a perfect sentence but just link it with some words if you're clever enough.
it;s just not worth because of something which is freaking tiny ( tiny is smaller than small? ) sigh. just get over it, live your life. you couldn't carry this hatred throughout your whole life.

i miss shittim camp. i miss jungle trekking while it was still raining. i miss cooking with them. i miss rafting in the freaking cold river. i miss the noob us that don't know how to raft. i miss sharing nights. i miss dancing in the dark. i miss that very disgusting dinner. i miss those doggies. i miss the fake pool. i miss the disgusting toilet. i miss those mosquitoes. i miss us keep repeating the song-animal. i miss making the breakfast. i miss the bridge. i miss our laughter. i miss the time we spend together.

i'm falling for you.

2011-08-02T19:55:00.003+08:00

currently sick :(
ah i always abandoned my blog.
sowie dear blog. i'll TRY my best to keep you alive..

exam coming soon. very dead this time. very very very dead i mean it.
ahh i'm just looking forward to the days after exam :)
fast fast fast.
just get over it !!!

i love your smile.

2011-07-09T22:45:00.002+08:00

sometimes you really have to mend back things that are really worth for. no matter how. you just gotta go for it. no matter in what kind of situation, love, family and friendship. just go ahead, go for it when you have to. before it's too late, before leaving regrets in your life.

i said before, i wanna try something that is challenging. here it is now.
my life is facing some challenges. can i bare with it ?
i've to say, i can. i must. whatever, I MUST.
this is just part of my whole life.

together we can make it :)

i wish i can have this forever.

2011-07-05T19:55:00.002+08:00

hey blog.
sorry for not updating you regularly. hee.

i'm back again !
choir competition just over. we got 2nd ! yay :) and i got best conductor as well. didnt expect that i'll get it because it was my first time to be a conductor. anyways, thanks for the support s3xiao, without you all, i won't get this award :)
p/s just uploaded photos in FB, check it out yoz !

transformer this coming sunday ! and 7K next sunday ! weee i love weekends :) gonna fill them with FUN !

i'm terrified to love, for the first time.

2011-06-18T21:00:00.006+08:00

hello dead blog ! the last post was the time before i go SD camp. walao so dead haha. okay SD camp was okay :)

and then a week later, had kuay's birthday party aka journey to the west :D that was freakin' fun. aha ! jungle trekking, rafting, cook ourselves, musical chair in dark and sharing :) it was a moment to remember. i love the xiaos so much :)

seat changed ! new life.
aha! another trip is coming soon. as well as another battle, choir. we can do it s3 xiao :) need some confidence in myself. no matter how short is the time left, as long as it's not the last minute, we cannot give up, okay? just do our best. ya !!! panda spirit HAHA!

lying here with you so close to me.
it's hard to fight these feelings when it feel so hard to breathe
caught up in this moment
caught up in your smile
-just a kiss, lady antebellum

goodbye

2011-06-04T02:19:00.007+08:00

it;s already 2:20am i'm not sleeping yet oh no. i just done preparing stuff for my camp oh no . it's drivin' me crazy. should've start earlier but i've spent my day having fun with the bees. i feel really stupid because i charged my cam yesterday night and was suppose to take a lot a lot a lot of photos but failed ! just took four stupid photos HAHA. ohya we went steamboat. very FULL ! straight away poop right after home teehee :X

disgusting tham :D

while i was working i found something awesome on my desk. really awesome :DD love them heheheheheee.. and that's why i am FAT !

this is heaven :D

crazy with all the paperwork. setting marking scheme. rules & regulation. last year i was the emcee for youth camp. this year, i AM the discipline master OMGGG they want me pretend to be fierce. well, i dont want lar i think if i fierce people will think i'm LC. so, decided to use another way :) hope everything goes well & smoothly. pray for good weather, no injuries and everyone enjoys !

so so messy table.

doing & facebook+twitter teeeeheeee ;)

this thing took so long time. the marking scheme :) but i'm proud of it HAHA !

STRESS !!

bye bye. leaving for camp till sunday :)

hope i can meet you guys on sunday night. choir practice girls... and i feel terrified because i'm the conductor, almost forget about it. still, i've to face it. and i can do it :)
GOODNIGHT. gotta wake up at 7:30 am to have breakfast with my cousin ! damnn, it's going to be a very tired day for me. chiaos don't miss me so much !

p/s : congrats to jiejie & gorgor. can't attend their wedding :( both morning & night. sigh. 你们一定会幸福的 :)

fall in love with a wrong person

2011-06-03T00:57:00.002+08:00

PARTAYYYY TOMORROW !

想自由

2011-06-02T00:48:00.004+08:00

this holiday is damn boring. but i've things to do everyday, maybe it's not something fun. but i gotta have fun this coming friday. sing k + steamboat ! i wanna sing out all of it, sing the stress out, sing the unhappy out, sing the anger out !!! SING !!!

went 1b with mom today. lunch, shopping & movie. pirates of the caribbean, awesome. but we got nothing after shopping :( i wanna KL so badly, i wanna shop there. sienn oh KK !!

shouldn't think so much already, just move on.
or maybe it's not you dont care, i'm the one who care too much. yeap, i'm a kid. sorry for that i've always been annoying and childish, not giving help but troubles.

iloveyou

2011-05-31T01:02:00.004+08:00

oh no my hard disk is not detected !!! at first i thought it was the problem of carmen's computer. then i went home, it's not detected too damn. and i tried on the laptop of my sis' boyfriend. still don't work. don't scare me please, 2 years memories are inside. all the precious photos! the hard disk is still new man :( hope it is just the cable problem. pleaseeeee

i'm so tired today.
slept at 4am? i guess . yesterday, and woke up at 8:30am. and went for badminton , yea sounds crazy. and then went to shittim camp to test on all the games( i mean, some of the games ) , and i suck at them. and i suck at badminton, already. nooo. i don't wanna lose in the first game, since that i'm already s3, you know it's kinda embarrassing haha. gotta work harder on it, after daphne's back from tawau.

i've been watching glee these two nights, episode 17 already. yay. 5 more to go !
i wanna sleep now. have to sleep now. should sleep now. -low battery-

p.s i want our journey to the west so badly :D because, i miss the bees! i miss school !

是你的, 逃不了; 不是你的, 捉不着.

just a dream.

2011-05-30T02:55:00.003+08:00

心痛.
有时候活在幻想世界是很不健康的.
所以, 我是时候要清醒了.

当我说, 我想你, 我是真的在想你.
而你说的, 真的吗?

hey stranger, i dream too much. sorry. i'm leaving.
say hello to goodbye, 'cause it's gone forever.

3:00am
睡不着. 耳机塞进耳朵, 请带我暂时离开现实.

why you gotta be so mean ?

2011-05-28T16:15:00.007+08:00

exam is finally end. i have a strong feeling that i'm gonna fail physics, chemistry, biology and ad.math this time. freaking strong feeling. sigh!
screw it. gonna work hard this 2 weeks holiday . lots of work to do. lots of things to plan. lots of stuff to do ! ahhhhh !!!

went to watch KUNG FU PANDA 3D yesterday ! ahahahahahhahahahahhaha it was my first time watch 3D, i know i'm stupid x)) who cares. but the most stupid thing is, i wore 2 specs. tmd, should've wear lens. but i dont have !! grr, lesson learnt. anyways, the movie was so AWESOME !! hahahahhahahahhahahahhaha so so funny oh. i wanna watch it again !!! PO you are so cute !!!!

cute right? love him so much !!

US!

me and my boyfriend, PO!!

little sack, miss her so much finally she appeared !

and it was jonathan's birthday that night. went to upperstar and gave him a small surprise. hope he doesnt mind because it's kinda rush :) happy birthday !!

gotta use this holiday to the fullest. no time to waste !!! go goal gold go goal gold !!!!!!!!

captured this beautiful sunset for you.

分割两地依然相爱的人，是幸福的。

to you,

2011-05-24T18:53:00.004+08:00

i hope you can read this. hope you still read my blog. i really dont know what have i done to you. why are you skipping me? why you don't reply my msgs? why you don't answer my questions?!?!? if you're angry at me, at least let me know why. if you hate me, at least there are reasons. ... hope you'll text me after you read this .. because i really care about you a lot. or not i wont keep on asking you the same question. because i care..... please i beg you :'(

after talking to her, and i realised something.

i am really too annoying for you :'(

sorry.. i wont find you anymore.

on hiatus

2011-05-19T22:20:00.001+08:00

要考试了！加油！！

all time low.

2011-05-17T22:32:00.002+08:00

this is just so wrong. i'm crying now.... what's going on in me? idk how to describe what i feel. i'm talking to sack now. i'm just too over, just too crazy. like falling in love with a guy, but i am not. i'm afraid. i need help. i'm so not independent. i'm so weak. i feel defeated. i feel that i can't do anything. i feel like escaping. i feel like escaping...

给还没有遇见的你.

2011-05-15T18:12:00.004+08:00

last friday went to visit Bukit Harapan :)
这里住着的是一些残障人士,或是没有人要的孩子. 其实他们跟我们没有什么不同, 唯一不同的是, 他们身上的缺陷. 他们也是人, 也是社会的一份子, 更需要我们的爱与关怀. 他们也想像我们一样, 能玩能跳能吃能喝能读书, 可是却是那么的不公平. 我们需要更加努力, 因为我们有的是健全的身体, 健全的脑, 我们更应该去努力, 帮他们完成他们无法完成的事情 :)

Jane :) cute right?

yesterday was Teachers' Day. Mr.Law delivered his speech successfully ! the hall was so quiet that time :) good job s3 xiao !

me & tim gave him flowers & presents.

we had an awesome party in our class. our theme : aircraft? or airport? i dont know hehe. anyways we brought all the teachers travelled around the world !! took lot crazy pictures !

the cheerleaders ! take 1 - acting cute !

the cheerleaders ! take 2 .

the cheerleaders ! take 3 cheering !!

gonna miss this lil creature, stone girl damn much , stupid sack. i love you !

we love xiaos. once a bee, forever a bee ;)

最近面对的事情很多. 经过很多问题．想起了很多事情，想起了你．面对很多很烦的事情．考试压力很大．又哭了很多次．不知道自己在做什么．很烦．可不可以都不要想什么，一直在家在房间里睡觉，我很累．很想就这样放弃．

replaceable

2011-05-14T23:42:00.002+08:00

update tomorrow. i'm sleepy ;)
GOODNIGHT !

this just looks like the re-run.

2011-05-12T18:45:00.000+08:00

like my title. this just looks like the re-run. re-run of what i felt 2 weeks ago, and until today. in this two weeks... all the words you said, all the anger you are having, all the disappointment in your heart, it was what i felt 2 weeks ago. i can totally understand how it is. because i had it before you.

http://twelvetonight.blogspot.com/2011/04/disappointment.html

well guess not many people realise this post. but that was the time i was like wth why was it you? i have no idea. but the fact was like that. but, i dont know is it you act like you dont know about it, or you really dont know about it? you really dont know that you're that scheming? everything happens for a reason. what i did today, think it all back, what you did before? i do things accordingly. well sometimes i might be too stubborn or do things very roughly or rush. but this time i won't . if i were the me during junior time, i won't be that calm like now. i might be scolding tons of foul words at you, perhaps give you a middle finger and say whatsoever. this is a bitch fight. but i won't make myself involve in a bitch fight when i'm already senior three.
keep viewing what you and your friends writing and posting, i'm smiling :) i am really smiling i'm not lying :) it is so true. it was all my feeling two weeks ago. and then i let go. no point. everything is so pointless. maybe you did not realise you already had bad thoughts in your head. i don't care about what others think of, but only you.. anyways i don't think you understand what i said. i hope you try to think back, think of yourself, and yourselves. everything happens for a reason. maybe you already forgot. if you forgot then just let it be. you're the one who started it. and in the end you're the one who's feeling it. but actually i felt my heart broke for two times. but this time wasn't that serious, because it was already in pieces. anyways, i'm okay :)

think about it. think about yourself. think about yourselves.
you can smile to me, mad at me. whatever. i will just do whatever you do to me :) i'm following you. 我奉陪到底...

this is going to be the first post about this incident. and also the last post.
i love my blog. i won't let stupid&pointless things overflow it :)

i miss all of these

2011-05-09T22:02:00.002+08:00

cross country.

2nd day of sports day

tug of war

and lastly :)

你不知道的事

2011-05-09T20:26:00.009+08:00

Master & Angel game was finally over. lookin' forward to the next game :) will it be Master & Demon ? haha
thanks to my ANGEL(死猫) :) he actually gave me rose. ahh :) actually i knew it when he talked to sack. at least he gave me something . it was his first time give people rose, and it was my first time received rose too LOL

星期六做了很疯狂的事! 很冲动! 很有冲劲! 突然很想要剪头发! 哈哈哈哈哈哈! 所以就这样很潇洒地去剪了!

in car, on the way to cut hair !!

da lang !!!!!!!!!!!! so short right?!?!? OPS xD

it was mother's day yesterday !! didnt give mommy anything oh :( no money ! sorry mom.. but i brought sister to choose present for mom.. bought 珍珠粉！有助于睡眠及骨骼疏松症！suits mom !!

我的戒指脱色!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA......... T_____T

can you see it??? T_T

MOM asked me to go australia study?! LOL suddenly.. because she's worrying over the education in HK & the job opportunities there. ahhh.. but australia so expensive. the cost is twice of HK ! wa........... sorry lah. sigh still thinking. need to do some research !!

缺陷美

2011-05-06T19:36:00.007+08:00

牙齿痛!! 只能喝热牛奶!! 吃饭吃得很痛噢!! 我要拔牙!!!! 可是他们讲少了一颗牙下巴会歪掉 ??? 不会吧!?!?!?!?! 真的很痛，有一个很大很大的洞wo !!

our class is playing MASTER & ANGEL now :) tham's idea :D it was so good !! i love the way they want to know who's their angel, and keep nagging that their angel had forgotten them. stuff like that. and the way they send their messages, and presents. even just a drink, it could bright up their masters' day. love it ;) the whole class is talking & discussing on this master & angel this two days. i love the atmosphere in our class now.. so! we gotta keep on organising activity like this. s3xiao we are meant to be as one !

since we cannot use the softboard, we used the windows as our wall of messages. wishlist, thank you or even complain !! :D

tim's caring angel bought him coffee ! which is what tim needs everyday :)

my stupid angel ! i know he is ! he wants to give me his 第一春，he said "我会让你成为真正的女人！"... ish him.. therefore i'm not anxious to know who he is tomorrow. i dont think he will give me any present :(

pity tzyy chyi. where's her angel!?

this is so wrong HAHA

LOST AND FOUND : where is lucas's angel!~?!

LOL " call me tonight !! " HAHA james so high oh..

pity jing li. her angel haven't appear yet. but i know who's that. it's okay. you'll be surprise tomorrow ;)

greedy lee pei !! HAHAHAH

WISH LIST !!?!?! by today?!?! crazy A@ !

this is even crazier !!! his angel must be very kasian !!

HAHAHA melson's lost angel ..

sweet angel of daphne. i know who's that too !!

was too boring during lesson xD

who am i? hint : i am osama's best friend!

aha :D

wake up.

2011-05-05T23:06:00.003+08:00

是我想太多
一场梦，是时候清醒.
因为，明明就是两个不同世界的人.　

ANGEL where are you??? why didnt you give me anything? even paper? HAHA. and i'm so surprised that my master is 'him/her' OMG !!!!
i love s3xiao ! this is a super fun game ! master & angel ;D
but people are leaving. sack & joey are leaving. tomorrow jpa results, and you can't predict who's the next one that is leaving. SIGH !! bees are flying awayyyyyy..........

BUT ! congrats to our 诗歌朗诵 team !
the 8 men and one cellist :) MAN POWER !! they got the 1st place !!!!!!
so pro oh. wednesday start memorising, thursday practise, friday competition !!
and they won ! WAA :D love you guys !!!!

time to sleep !

我以为

2011-05-04T00:09:00.002+08:00

我以为我很坚强
我以为我可以面对一切
我以为我什么都行
我以为我不怕失败
我以为我不怕痛
我以为我不会哭
我以为我懂
我以为我什么都了解
我以为我真的很会
我以为，我以为。

原来一切都是我的自大，我的骄傲。
其实，我只是个弱者。
我是个怕失败，怕跌倒，怕输，怕寂寞的胆小鬼，爱哭鬼。
我在逞强，在逞什么？
我那么坚强的外表，都只是个空壳子。
我是谁？我不是超人。原来，我只是个平凡人。

我需要付出的更多。我不想怕。
一定会有个值得让我拚下去的原因。

cause i had a bad day

2011-05-03T23:01:00.002+08:00

today was totally a bad day. after school went to hospital to apply for not-to-go NS due to asthma. and the system in the hospital is totally suck.

and a close friend of mine. ignored me for many days. i didnt know what happened to her. she doesnt seem to wanna let me know about this. and guess i'm too young to understand. and i feel myself very stupid as i can't give any help to her whenever she faces problem.. i feel like a fool. i can't help her. maybe i can't even understand what's the problem. let it be. people will tell me if they really want to. no point forcing them. but she always can help me with my problem. why am i so useless? i am sorry.

and then, got the news from SACK YI YING .. not gonna announce it here until she wants to tell everyone. damn i cried :'( it's not the day yet but i cried. what the ?! sack yi ying i didnt know you're so important to me. but still, i hate you ! :(

went for 3 hours tuition. was so emo at first because of sack yi ying. and then it became okay because of ah voo and yuan ! at last they also fooled me. WTH. SAD !! :( :(
BAD DAY BAD DAY !!
went out with alvin and sack just now. alvin's going back to perth tomorrow. sigh !
BAD DAY !!! :( :( :(

I rule it.

2011-05-02T18:30:00.004+08:00

what a day bad day bad day. went for tuition early morning. woke up at 6.30am which was really torturing when it should be a holiday for me. and went home look for freakin' formal wears. in the end they told me you don't really have to wear it.

went to there, and wth i was late for 1 hour ?! nobody tells me it started on 1pm. fine. and there's no place for me to stand. okay .. luckily they found a place for me. and whatthe the meeting that held in the morning i didnt know that i should be there. sigh why why why?? i feel awful when i don't know anything that i should actually know about it.

now i am freakin' hungry. should feed my dear stomach ! wanna eat something nice ! to change my mood ! was suppose to watch THOR 3D later but i canceled the plan.

i dont know why i feel very.. angry now. sien.
tired of immature people. tired of them. it doesnt really matter if you're still young. but at this age, you should grow. what are you going to face in future you ask yourself? this is reality. please grow up, be mature. be a man be a woman or whatever. i am tired of taking care of you, teaching you stuff. because the fact is, i have no patience. i hate to teach or take care of people. it's not i dont know how, it is because i feel lazy and i'm not that patient. think for yourself for your future or whatever. for you ! decide something for yourself, be more decisive. you may be think that this is the way you are, you refused to grow. but somehow you should think for others, how they think about you? are you bringing troubles? maybe they never talk about it, but it doesnt mean that they don't feel it... p l e a s e . learn, reflect and think about it. i really .. hate it f . this is not for anyone, i'm trying to release my anger. ignore. ignore !!

lol. just ignore my arrogant.

we are two worlds apart.

2011-05-01T21:51:00.007+08:00

just watched this movie with gloria, yuan, tham&james !!! THOR :D nice nice nice.. the guy is awesome ! chris hemsworth x) i love his blue eyes. highly recommended this movie ! one bad thing is, we were sitting too in front, not a nice view :( 4th row oh ! waaaaa... .hahaha ! but still, NICE :D must watch !!
i'm having a very good mood now since i've watched a great movie :) i love to watch movies, but the nice one. hate when i watched bad movies, which actually wasted my money and time ! so! i'm happy now :D

tomorrow 8am tuition again :( 2-5pm have to go for training, no it's not training. rehearsal !! have to wear formal, be like a lady WAAAAA !
and i remembered how melson talked to yuan when teacher talked about 祝英台( 有女性味道的男性) .. he said :" 言，我们隔壁坐着一个有男性味道的女性... ". SIGH !!!!! SAD OH hahahhaa..

when you forget me, when you don't remember my name, not even a memory..

just remember that , i am no.20

jar of hearts

2011-04-30T20:59:00.004+08:00

happy 21st birthday beckham :) big boy !!! please behave and stop chewing stuff and peeing everywhere haha ! i love you muaks !!

went to a lot of places today. brought my cousin to green connection, just take a look lah because rm25 , and it's not that much of things to see also, so we left. went to UMS aquarium :P and oneb. so so tired. since that we had intense training during PE lessons today. please please please teacher, i'm so tired. though it's kinda fun but.. too intense haha.

i wanna bring my cam wherever i go. to take some pictures. upload to my blog, make it more interesting ;)
guess it's time for bed. so tired. 8am tuition in the morning tomorrow.

好痛苦啊!!!!

because we made it until the end.

2011-04-27T21:48:00.005+08:00

我们的胜利是得来不易的.
你可以有很多种说法, 说我们出猫? 还是说因为我们有某某集团的儿子,所以大权在后? 或是老师偏心我们?

我们, 从一开始准备, 就是问题的开始. 不知道为什么我们就是面对着一大堆问题. 我们越靠近目标，问题就越多。别人也许看不到, 但是我们自己一定会知道. 谁考试作弊没得当队长? 谁要离开学校不能当队长? 谁没有看好小弟弟小妹妹, 弄到他们跌倒撞倒头, 差点被家长投诉? 为什么没有运动员? 丙组乙组名单简直烂透. 只有甲组的几个男运动员. 我们当时已经心知肚明，这是一个很大的挑战。如何在一场运动会中，在没有运动员的状况之下，去夺冠？说明了是运动会，这么能少那么多运动员? 越野赛跑，我们是靠1分1分拿回来的，我们前30名的人不多，但我们告诉自己，1分1分累积起来，也是一个15分。所以不可以放弃，尤其是我们自己班的高三.

我们, 从去年开始准备今年的事情. 我们没有时间临时抱佛脚, 我们需要烦的事情还很多. 跳舞衣服比赛前2天才出现问题, size 全部错完. 运动员名单一大队错误，该放的没有放，不该放的却放了。道歉都来不及. 一天到晚都在赶工，赶到凌晨两三点才回家，赶到晚上要用蜡烛，手电筒来赶工。从去年就开始赶的蜜蜂，名片。连camp的设计也是去年就好的。我们全部都是亲手设计，并没有专业人士帮我们，我们也自己弄东西卖，自己设计小东西来卖，我们不是光在拿别人的钱。我们脸皮没有厚到你可以摸到。

因为知道我们没有运动员，但是有那么好的队长，鼓励我们不要放弃。我们为什么要放弃？心知道的，我们金牌比别人少很多很多。但只要不到最后一分钟，都不能放弃。因为没有运动员，我们在另一方面努力，步操，拉拉队，跳舞。这3项是我们非常努力的地方。因为这3个分数，我们才会赢。或许你会怀疑，为什么没有金牌可以拿第一？出猫？？猫你的头。是看分数，不是看金牌。就算你有多少运动员，你太注重他们，也会忽略了其他也应该去注重的事项。从步操开始讲起，人数一直不够，他们又每次因为自己很厉害不去练习，步操队长还有吵架，但是还是克服过来了。啦啦队。我们早早就想好，camp里面要放什么，让它有一个家的感觉，每个人都想去。每场项目，虽然累，我们坚持站着帮他们加油打气。就算时间很短很难，我们也快快把camp赶好，因为这一切都有算分的。我们不是那么容易得来的。跳舞！dancing leader 一直不在 k.k. 到一月份了什么都还没有想到。但是，我们每一个动作和formation, 都是精心想的，绝对没有抄袭以前的舞蹈表演。

我们的成功，不是手大开它就来的。多少眼泪还有汗水才得回来的？每次一到重要事件，就一定会有小争吵。但是我们就是能摊开来讲。一定会有紧急会议立即召开，全部人讨论，反省，提出意见，把问题解决。我觉得这一切的一切其实都不重要。我们的胜利，最大原因，是因为我们团结。还有一班很帮我们的学生（初一-高二）.. 我们能拿冠军，算是很奇迹的事情，因为这是在一个没有运动员的情况下得到的。是要靠比别人努力得更过倍，付出得更过。

请不要那么小心眼. 觉得我们的胜利是另有原因。你们觉得你们很努力，但别忘了，别人也在努力。你可以说你自己也付出很多。但谁没有在付出啊？这种事情是看你付出多少，你个人付出，但战友没有付出，能怎样？尤其是内乱。一乱，就什么都没有了。
p's 请不要对号入座..

原来 : 有多少荣誉, 就有多少压力.. 这句话的意思是这样来的。

challenging time.

2011-04-26T19:39:00.004+08:00

congratulation to We The Bees volleyball girls' team won the first match :DD well, me and sack are not the players but we are supporters !! glad to see that all the four cheerleaders were there just now ;D the match was so excited !! walao 06:13 ! i thought we're going to lose you know?? i was telling myself :" no more no more. they left 2 marks then end game.. " .. wa wa wa LEE PEI our star !! she saved the team waaaa and it became 16:14 !!!!!! AHHHHHHHH! we are legendary man !! you guys are awesome ! ;D 我们太厉害了!

my first badminton match is on sunday ! :SSS i dont know wanna lose in the first game please !! i wanna go further :DDDDDDD
&
teachers' day performance is in progress :) hope that it can work out perfectly!!

took lot photos during lesson today. 很闷啊!

acting cute !!

four flowers HAHAHA

act cute 2 !

其实每个人都有缺点。每个人都有别人无法容忍的性格。所以都要学会包容。
当我很讨厌某个人的性格的时候，我会告诉自己，人家也还不是都在忍我，所以咯~
可是有时候还是会忍无可忍! hahahaha..
所以，我要挑战自己，挑战不可能。:)
也突然很想谈一场不可能的恋爱，克服自己，把它挑战过来。 hahaha!!
有可能吗？

disappointment.

2011-04-25T21:16:00.003+08:00

friends. if people could define friends. love has a lot of problem, can't believe that even friendship is also that annoying. i didnt know that you are a girl like that, or i should say i can't believe that you are a friend like that. i thought we are best friends. maybe not the best one, but the close one at least. because of a competition, you have to make it like that. i didnt know that you're so scheming. i guess this was the second time since he told me there was something similar happened too last time. girl, i'm disappointed in you. so so disappointed. since that you think this competition is really that important, important than our friendship, yes okay then. let it be a real competition then. i don't hate you. but just, i can see you clearer now. well, see you on the battlefield, my dear opponent.

anyways,
grats s3xiao !! we got into final :DDDD wohoo... me and tim were so nervous man when the emcee was announcing the result. i'm so scared. i scared we can't get into final. because we actually sang it way faster and rougher. i scared it was because i conducted wrongly, like out of tempo. but we got it ! we got into final :D bees, we can do it ! we can do it ! we can do it !!! jia you ! ;)
tomorrow volleyball girls team first match ! GOOD LUCK !! :DDDD i'll be there, and support youuuuuu all HEHE !

BADMINTON MATCH THIS SUNDAY :SSSSSS

very cold? HEHE

;)

2011-04-22T23:23:00.002+08:00

好眼训!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAA..

GOODNIGHT

do you love me?

2011-04-22T19:41:00.004+08:00

choir practice from 10am-4pm at JWKY;s house today. so tired !!! guys ! tomorrow's the day.. 加油加油加油!!!! we can do it :)

ohyeah i found something to do le, upload photos ! :)

you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one.

2011-04-21T22:28:00.002+08:00

went to china education fair today. it was held in our school :) HKUST was there. pheww.
and now, i feel like wanna go there so much hahahaaa. it's really a good university.
i actually realised a lot today. i realised that our school, tshung tsin, is really a good school, that provides you lot facilities, good academics performances, co-curriculum activities, so on. plus we're malaysian, our benefits are the different kind of languages that we know.
in this past five years in tshung tsin, i joined like.. quite a lot activities? until my mom also keep nagging me. but i like it very much. especially this year, our sports day. i guess there's no other schools provide a sports day like this.
yea some people may say that, students in tshung tsin are good students. nah. it's all depends on yourself. there's still some bad students in tshung tsin. but if you behave well, you can get a lot really. suddenly feel proud that i'm a tshung tsin students :) i absorbed a lot.

i hate myself for skipping last thursday physics tuition. i'm lost. have to catch up now. do physics exercises now ! good friday tomorrow. so i can sleep later.
six months decide everything. i really have to get back on track.
like mr.lim says, it's not too late now. but if after june, it;s really too late. even if justin bieber says :" never say never ! "... it doesnt work on this. bla bla bla. physics time :)

full of you.

2011-04-19T23:03:00.001+08:00

到不了的幸福- Bii

电话那一头的你
说也许我们该各退一步
电话这一边的我
眼泪悄悄流出却不想哭
这场爱情
是不是一开始就是错误
为了什么
我们固执的坚持换来却只有痛苦
跌跌撞撞这一条爱情路
我们看到的只有荒芜
辛辛苦苦跟随你的脚步
等待我们的不是幸福

i am so tired. so sleepy this few days :(
imyprincefrog.

亲爱的, 亲爱的.

2011-04-18T21:43:00.005+08:00

yesterday was back from science camp. it was totally BAD. kays. it was okay at first , just kinda boring because i've less job. my job was actually on the second day. so until the second day. CEP team pissed me off. it was a long story and i'm kinda lazy to type it here. anyways, we have urgent meeting tomorrow to talk about this. hopefully! prepare to eat my bullets you cep team.

science camp committees from s3xiao :D

i am so sleepy now.. suppose to finish biology but !!!
i am such a failure. always tell myself to work harder, but me, myself is the one who didnt make it. sigh. how come. sigh. haihh..

whole day no current at school !! so hot !!!!!!!!!!!!
took our class photos today. yeah it was so awesome. can't wait to get it !!

pearlyn's leaving tomorrow. another name gonna cut off from our class list :( it's the worst thing ever. dont know who else is leaving for scholarship somemore. stop leaving us bees :((

i am stupid i am not clever like you. i know you are clever and i am nothing.i know i have to work harder than you in order to get the same level as you. i know. but if you understand that it's not so easy for me, if you could understand... not everyone's the same like you.

if you could feel me,

2011-04-15T22:57:00.003+08:00

明天要在学校过夜!!!!!!!!!!! 科学营?!?!?!
很累啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 　

我亲爱的高三孝，绵羊们 ! !
我们合唱比赛要加油! 我会尽全力地指挥（第一次指挥, 原谅我）~
你们也要用心地唱！我们一起加油！还有7天!!!
要对自己有信心!! 我们是好蜜蜂!
排球比赛也要加油 ~~ 虽然我没有参加哈哈
可是我也会帮你们打气的哈哈!!!! 不要被他们吓倒!!!我们也很强!!
我们要一起一起一起加油孝班!
我们要一起一起一起考好好!
我们要一起一起一起毕业!

i love you s3xiao :) like, seriously a lot !

where'd you go

2011-04-12T22:11:00.003+08:00

i feel tired this few days. feel sleepy. dont feel like wake up , don't wanna go school. i just wanna sleep. what happened?

and now i'm sicked. nose bleed two times in one day :( had slight fever this morning and slept for two periods in health office :( having flu and sore throat now !
today is a bad day. sister not free, dad and mom not in KK. i've to search for transport everywhere. cook maggie for dinner. stuck at home. ..

science camp this saturday and sunday. have to overnight at school ! good or bad?!

cannot la. tomorrow must back on track. do math !
study chinese now ! BYE !

love me better.

2011-04-10T23:11:00.003+08:00

this coming week is going to kill me.
4 tests coming. science camp , need to do those slide shows and stuff.
homework so left behind.
my sis just went back to kuching. no more driver or chef. parents not in kk. left with my kinda useless big sis :( HAHAHA. sighh
i hate to iron clothes !

振作 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh！

IMY

2011-04-04T20:27:00.002+08:00

no time to waste.
6 weeks more to final exam. 6 months more to UEC ! the exam that decides EVERYTHING !

i cannot sleep anymore during lessons.
works must be done in this week. and start revision ! this is my aim !

i have a target, i have an aim, i have a dream, i know where i am heading to. MUST !
keep telling myself " i can do it ! i can do it ! "

加油！
帮我加油！:)

because of you,

2011-04-03T03:21:00.003+08:00

cute minsin !

the nearest photo ! haha no zooming oh :)

the UMS gang :)

或许我们不联络会比较好

2011-04-03T00:03:00.002+08:00

有时我会想，在爱情的世界里，是否有一个平衡点？
一段恋情里，是否能两个人爱对方的份量都是一样的呢？
但每次我都会发觉，只有其中的一方会比较爱。不是另一半不爱，而是他/她会比较习惯牺牲。
你或许会喜欢一个人，因为你觉得他/她绝对是你一百分的情人，或是你觉得他/她真的太完美了。
但你是否有听说过，一个完整或完美的爱情，不是因为一百分的情人，而是五十分的两个人。
喜欢他／她，你是不是能担保你们的未来一定有未来？
其中一方或许能兴致勃勃地说，‘我们一定能走很远！’。但爱是需要两个人，另一个他／她，是不是也这样想，是关键。
尤其是远距离，如何保证你的另一半，能维持这份爱？我不是很相信，但如果有这个机会遇到，我会很想创造奇迹．毕竟，人的心，一定会因距离而疏远．

一堆废话！　

i miss hong kong.

2011-04-01T19:09:00.024+08:00

because i miss hong kong, so i'll use cantonese to type this post :)

头先睇返D去香港既相，我真系影左千几张，张张都有好多回忆。

呢张系我地去之前，shirley忘记左佢张机票，哈哈我地就偷偷收起来，吓倒佢。。。。

系飞机里边.. 心情极度兴奋！哈哈

我既host family. 好挂住佢地... darco & jacquelyn :)

点可以漏左呢只野啊！东东！

冷面！！好好食啊:D

坐左两个钟头车去荃湾庆祝公公既生日！

3A班！全部唔信我18！你地都唔似15或14啦！哈哈! 都好挂佢地嫁其实！

香港科技大学！崇正中学最冇面既一日！！哈哈

西贡一间唔知咩名既甜品店！呢只好似枕头既芒果甜品超好食！！！

去左李求恩唔知咩圣诞联欢会后去既一个又唔知咩名既公园！哈哈。。由呢位好得意既敏叔带！

去左一个又唔知咩名既college学纵横输入法！全部人就来训着！本来识嫁！不过已经忘记晒！:P

食左餐好高级既午餐，但系又唔系好好食！哈哈哈哈，唔紧要啦～唔洗钱，好唔错架啦！

好闷既科学馆，因为Ｄ小朋友强晒来玩！我地三只野就偷偷溜出去行街！尖沙咀！梗系去买野啦！又惊死比老师睇到！哈哈哈哈

金紫荆广场

山顶！冻死人！但系好靓！穷到系度食杯面！呢两条友，冻仲食雪条！！

海洋公园！我仲想玩多几次个翻天覆地！３６０度转！

2010圣诞节系尖沙咀 countdown !

去左迪士尼．．．．个门口姐！落雨啊！冻死～哈哈。仲记得我地搭车返既时候，竟然搭错车！搭左十几分钟都冇人发现！！！！

系香港既最后一晚.王华湘准备个烧烤晚会，同我既host family全家福！啊!我觉得我好衰咯，系度咁多日，都好少陪佢地，又成日好夜返~　对唔住啊auntie janet & uncle don :(

突然间好挂住呢间房！虽然好小，但系都几温暖架！训左九晚，都有感情！！

仲有好多回忆嫁．．我记得有一次我好闷，一个人落去将军澳广场行街，个feel唔错啦！好采冇荡失路！圣诞节倒数个晚去左食buffet！好贵啊，但系都值既！哈哈~我好挂住鸡旦仔啊！仲有劲辣咖喱鱼旦！哈哈闻落似鸡屎，食落都似鸡屎既臭豆腐！！第二晚突然间哮喘发作！我仲以为我会就咁死左！哈哈哈哈～～i miss HK ! :)

anyways, long post !! lookin' forward to SUNDAY ! :) BBQ ! BBQ! BBQ1! BBQ ! it's april's fool today and damn they lied at me. i thought it's real man you all scare me ! was worrying and trying to think a way to solve it. but !!!!! HAHA :) ! sunday! please don't rain ! bye!

wanting to start again.

2011-03-30T22:53:00.004+08:00

i miss this popcorn !!!! garrett popcorn. in singapore. best popcorn ever..

WA 我怎么那么肥??? HAHAHAHA

food poisoning actually helped me lose some weight ;D so, actually i'm thinner now :P

hope this is a perfect lie. HAHA you know what's 善意的谎言!!

looking forward to sunday :) class trip! to tanjung aru beach weeeeeeeeeee!!!! :DDDDDD

BBQ BBQ ! swim swim ! play play ! :D

start off again.

2011-03-26T00:03:00.002+08:00

12:03 am. i'm still doing homework.
tonnes of homework, which was actually mid-term homework. i'm far behind. far far away. i gave myself a limit. i must finish all the mid-term homework by 31st march. included math and math past year ! go goal gold !!

i'm feel disappointed on my spm result. didnt expect it would turn out like this. this is not what i want. i expected a better result. so many students scored high grades, why i'm not one of them? :( i'm gonna appeal some of the subjects which i have confidence. please . give me back my As. though the result is not important anymore because i'm not using spm certificate in future, use UEC instead. but i dont wanna disappoint my mom. i feel so sorry for her. i disappoint her over and over again. that's why, i seriously know what to do now. RM50 each subjects, quite expensive. but i gotta try.. anddddd no time to be waste .

FOOD POISONED AGAIN :( 食物中毒!
T___T

this post is for you !! :D

2011-03-20T23:08:00.003+08:00

有人叫我打中文！
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！只限今次！下次就睇你既表现啦！

大佬!! 我挂住你啊，你听唔听到我讲野？
梗系听到因为我在你左右！系只鬼呀吗！
你唔好成日飞去太空拯救世界啦，突然间就失踪!!
哈哈哈!!

;)))　保重身体！

得冇呢篇？:D

i feel contented.

2011-03-20T19:40:00.004+08:00

at this very moment, i feel like saying " OH DAMN i've an AWESOME 18th birthday this year !!!:D "

hang out last night with elaine and ong ! thanks elaine for spending me Sushi Tei :D thanks Ong & Yuan for the 4 pieces of CHEESE CAKE ! oh man cheese man cheese !!! and then another CHEESE again from elaine chia at 12am :DD thanks guys ! i love you all ;) thanks yuan for the videos that taken with her sister ! you guys are so cute ;)) thanks elaine chia ! and ong ! for spending me sing k at amp square ;) thanks elaine ! acc me so much ! hehehee :) you know you're the best ! HAHA

then just now went out with carmen daphne and theresa for movie - Big Momma! yea just an ordinary movie date :) yea surprise always come when you least expect it. so when we finished the movie, suddenly theresa told me that she dropped her money, so i gotta help her to find. man i almost sleep on the floor to look for the money ! and she suddenly told me, :"oh sorry it was in my pocket i forgot, sorry !" i was like WTF ! i stood up and then ( wait , the four of us were sitting in the fourth row from the back ) ,, i stood up and then the last row , guess who's there? it's bees !! :D lucas, gloria, nigel, chi yun, xiao an , james & kelly! oh my god i was so surprised :DD and i cried ! so damn touching i didnt know they'll come. and set up a trap man. lucas wong lied at me , he said he's not coming because he has SOMETHING TO DO which is surprise me ! HAHA . thanks guys i love you all !

WAIT this is not the end of the story, and then we were heading to secret recipe for lunch. AND THEN another bunch of bees were there holding a cake ! oh my god :DDDD i'm so happy lah really :D didnt know there's so much surprise for me. for real, i didnt have the mood to celebrate my birthday this year, due to those emo status you know what. so i didnt expect much celebration from my friends, since they didnt really date me too , just a movie date. so it was really out of my expectation ! and i'm really so freaking happy! thanks guys ! thanks my dearly s3xiao, thanks my s2 yellow bees :D i really don't feel like going emo emo now because, i should feel content, i have you guys around me. i'm really so happy ;')

i remember playing hide and seek with you guys. we're using the two floors !! me and theresa were incharge of seeking you guys ! hahahhaha so awesome. sound childish, but it was really fun. then we went to the game centre. hahahah had fun there :DDD long time no do something like this ;))

thanks for the surprise and all the friends, daphne carmen theresa gloria lucas nigel chiyun xiaoan kelly james tzyychyi catherine amos sean calvin darren udang :D love y'all ;)

thanks gloria for the so damn nice photo albums ! love it so so so much ! i love you glo ;D baby's friend - HONEY :D
thanks carmen for the undone present, ahha i'm still waiting ya :D
thanks oks for the 18 lollipops ! i'm waiting you to earn money buy a nicer present HAHA!
thanks for the almost 250 people wished me in facebook :D
and all the msgs to my phone ;) appreciate it much !
thanks for those birthday call from other country ;D

though i didnt receive much presents but it doesn't matter. because i'm so happy this year. awesome 18 ! you guys made me today :)

ohya. thanks mom and dad for spending me wagamama dinner :D
thanks big sis for giving me ang pau HAHAHA
thanks 3 sis for buying me the bag :D HAHAHAAAA which i forced her to buy !

what i wish for this year is,
i wish we're all living in a peaceful world, without disasters, and everyone gets their happiness :) especially the japanese :))

AWESOME 18TH :D

请你一定要比我幸福

2011-03-15T23:11:00.002+08:00

it is holiday now . and today i just realised there's so many things undone.

gonna list out the to-do-list.
(i find myself doing this in blog, like.. every holiday? ;p)

1. chemistry past year, and exercise papers.
2. math Homework
3. math past year ( if I CAN ;p)
4. physics correction
5. plan for camp, and proposal
6. change guitar strings and teach ligament guitar
7. research on environmental courses.
8. yellow disc
9. read novels :D
10. and i dont know whattttttt................................

now, we are looking for long-lasting love. baby why is it so hard to find?

love at the moment.

2011-03-11T23:13:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA. i love you guys S3XIAO !! you guys are so awesome :DD

special thanks to CARMEN LEE for planning the whole thing. i'm surprised ba actually ! just can guess a bit lah because your acting skill so 'good' HAHAHA. ERMM very happy because it's the first time i celebrated my birthday at school, like since junior one :)))) muaks ! love you all :D

very advance birthday. still have 9 days and i'm officially 18.

just now when i look at the cake, 18th, i feel old, suddenly.

thanks for the suprised advanced birthday party :)

mid-term is over ! i failed my physics. 37 people failed it together with me. so, no rasa ! haha but i dont want my math to fail :(

give me an answer. what am i waiting for?

untitled.

2011-03-08T23:16:00.002+08:00

文字里找不到结局.

i'm giving up you now. i hope i'm serious this time.

i need to talk to you, elaine chia. wait me, next week.

p/s: exam sucks.

i need miracles!

2011-03-03T22:10:00.001+08:00

I WANT SCHOLARSHIP !!!!

we thought.

2011-03-01T21:58:00.004+08:00

let me have an emo post.

you always think that, something or someone is so important for you. you can't leave without. you feel so bad feel so down when you lost it. but when time goes by, you slowly realised that , no, you can really live without. all the pain was just pain, and it will fade away. what left behind, was just scars. everyone has scars. everyone has to have some scars in order to grow up. right?

I don't understand why destiny allowed some people to meet, when there's no way for them to be together.

still don't understand about that. why do destiny allowed they meet, but no way, really no way! no matter how hard you work, how much you want, how hard you try to plan, no way to be together. but why you met them at first? seemed so ridiculous. seemed so sad. but, i'm getting clearer now. i know. it's really impossible. started to give up, to leave, to get on my life. never belong to me.

appreciate what you have now. how hard for you guys to meet, and be together. everything is a miracle. everything is a gift. i envy. but i still believe, i can't get something good, i will get something better in the end. maybe i'm the one who's been frustrating over this. but you pretty sure of what are you doing. time to be smart. i have to be smart.

sometimes, i may be smart, but i'll never be smarter than you.

no matter how willing i am. no matter how sad i am. no matter how hard i am. i know, time to let go. time proves everything. i can see, with my eyes. i can listen, with my ears. i feel, with my heart. the fact is, you're leaving and i'm losing you.

nothing lasts forever.

2011-02-27T18:31:00.006+08:00

loves.

chicken lee

babi sack

director lo

zhumak samson

loves

i miss sports day. i miss yellow house. house party was over. it was .. kinda awesome :D my first time going to house party after studying in tshung tsin for 5-6 years ! hahaha. so it's my first, and also last house party ! back to 70's. luckily at last get to borrow clothes from carmen ;)

i wrote the above paragraph in the afternoon. then i was finding photos to insert. damn all the photos were gone :( photos from kuay's cam ! AHHHHH i want a hard disk ! i can;t believe that my photos took 22GB of space. photos from 2009 HAHAH. mann. i don't wanna delete them. it's all MEMORIES ! my memories. nooo..

exam's coming soon. hardcore study next week. i'm scared. really.

i found this in my old folder. HAHAHA when i was junior 2, look at the date 2007 !!

you know when miracle happens,

2011-02-13T16:52:00.006+08:00

OH YES I'M BACK !

haven't been update for a long time. guess you know why. because of sports day !

all the hard work was finally paid. WE'RE THE CHAMPION for the annual sports meet of sabah tshung tsin secondary school ! WOOOO. yellow house 2011 ! we're the legend :DDD

it was a long journey, yet, everything worthed so well. remember all of us were so excited about sports meet preparation in the end of 2010. we're planning for our mascot, like we thought about one mascot for each color. we wanted red, because we hope to use Hanamichi( is it spell like this? ) as our mascot. hahaha even the dancing formation was in our head already. but in the end we got yellow. not bad ! last year champion color.

we started our journey like during the SPM, remember leading the juniors during orientation class? problem started that time. the junior one fell down and knocked his head. and also our captains election, because they cheated during exam and the school banned their right to become the captain. yellow house has been through lot of problems, but yet we challenged them all. after we got our j1-s2 namelist, we all were so down down down right? because we have no athletes. thanks for our captain, jason. he has been encouraging us all the way , though i know he's down too. he encouraged us with his kuala lumpur theory. i still remember i think that the theory is kinda stupid and childish, but yet. it happens now. we did it.

remember we do our flags till we almost crazy, keep listening to stupid songs at jason's house to release stress. especially "i just had sex" and "club can't handle me"-indian version. and also the Repulsel video. sticking the labuchi one by one. with uhu glue all over us. stick the tiny bee badges for the juniors . the hardest part was the banner, all labuchi. i remember some of the s3 stick it until 2.30 midnight. and then was the camp, i guess it's the first time for us to paint in dark, with just few candles light and torch. i miss doing stuff at jason's house. oh and the poms poms, most headache part. always wrong counting hahaha. cutting poms poms in class. all became panda during sports meet preparation. a lot people sick. and also me , sack and daphne three stupid woke up at 3am and they came my house at 4am, to discuss about the dancing. laughing like siao in the midnight though we're really sleepy. all the tears, all the sweats. it's okay you know right? we're the champion now.

sports meet is really a good chance for us to grow. we can discover everyone's good here. we'll find that everyone really can do something. and each and every person has their own different ability which other people might don't have it. i treasure each and everyone in senior three xiao'11. we the bees, we the best. irreplaceable. thank you for all of you guys. and special thanks to the senior two bees, they helped us so much which they're actually don't need to. because they have no responsibility in this. thank you so much. some of the senior threes helped the house a lot but not everyone knows it, like for spike shoes, cleaning, food and beverages, first aid, transport. and some still work so hard though they're sick, especially gloria. i really cried when she was having her fever but still ran for our house. thank you gloria.

we did it. without golden athletes or what. group C and group B are so weak, but still we did it. yellow house 2011, the best house ever. i remember i was in blue house last year and i hated it so much because all of them have no leadership and throw the responsibility just like that. and i told my parents i'm gonna prove to them i'll get a champion when i'm senior three in 2011. and now, i did it. we did it s3xiao'11. all of us are so important, if any of us are missing, this can't be happen. i smell gold . HEHE :)

1st place in Marching ;)

1st place in Cheerleading ;D

1st place in Boys A group ! ;D

and finally, the overall champion !!!

(we've the most awesome captains ever ! jason,samson, tzyy chyi and pei! )

i just wanna say I LOVE YELLOW HOUSE 2011 !!!

but if we get 1st in dancing, it would be so perfect. it's okay, we're 2nd ! not bad ! :))

if i had a choice.

2011-01-28T15:57:00.007+08:00

dear blog. here to fill up the emptiness again. there's too much things to say. i dont know where to start from. my mood cannot be constant, sometimes i'm up high in the sky, sometimes i fall into the deepest ground, and i can't pull myself up :(

well for the happy thing, i'm very very very happy that yellow house got 2nd place in cross country. thanks for all the yellow bees for trying their best to run ! having you guys who are really support our house is way better than having a bunch of athletes who are selfish. thank you :) and i'm reallyyyyy happy as i finally got 1 mark !! ahhh i made it :) i used 1 hour something to finish up during training and yesterday i made it !!! wooohooo !! last year of cross country :( for yellow house !! we can make it ! it's just the first station, long way to go. keep fighting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! s3xiao!! yellooooww house !!!

for the fact that i changed a lot. i used to be rude, i used to be 'very hard', like it's hard to ask me admit that i'm wrong or to say sorry. i used to be rude and i can split out lot of foul languages. for the fact that i'm not who i used to be anymore. i'm not that crazy like before, i seldom play or talk so high. as some people do realise i'm quiet nowadays. i'm not who i used to be. don't act like you know me much. yes i am rude but i will admit if i'm wrong. though if it's not my fault i do will apologize before it turns out even worse. maybe i do split out some foul languages when i'm really angry. but i'm controlling. i'm making myself better, nobody's perfect. sigh i dont know what am i typing now. just.. stop misunderstanding me. freaking hate it. you can lie at me, backstab me , scold me, whatever. never misunderstand me.

the confidence has faded away. soon i will leave. i'm no longer can be in this situation. i don't believe, i don't believe that i'm the one who give up first. the fact is, i can see how 'impossible' is that. holding back the tears, and tell myself that, yes i can live without. turn around, and walk away. if i had a choice, i wish i never know you. it was all just a dream. tell myself that it is time to wake. if i had a choice, i wish i can never wake. totally wrong. if i had a choice, just let it be, let it wrong. but i will not. i know what it takes.

爱你很值得只是该停了

i need you.

2011-01-23T23:28:00.004+08:00

here i am again. a post before i go to bed. fooo. my day is packed !

well, shopping in the morning. sigh, feel so sad i didnt get any clothes but one belt. tried on lot clothes but i looked fat in every of them. damn i really gotta lose some weight before cny, i wanna have some nice clothes !!!!! freakin fat thigh, i can't wear nice short pants ! like brandon voo said, pork chop ! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. i can fit in M size, but my thighs don't allow me to :( sack, find a day go shopping eh.. i want clothes, bags and shoes ! :(

do you ever ask yourself, why are you here? why are you born in this family? why are you in kk ? why are you in this class? why are you in this house? everything is meant to be like that. you're here, because you belong to here. why do you know him/her? because you meant to know him/her. it's.. sort of fate? there must be something that only US can do it. US. there must be something only US can achieve. why don't we all appreciate this special .. erm how to say. you know what i want to say. to stay together, work hard together. we're now sitting in the same ship. imagaine, storms and lightning. everyone of us are to protect the ship. no one is going to leave first, we gotta keep holding on. there's nothing like ohh i'm not important, i should just leave. no way. everyone is important. everyone has its own post. which really mean something. never say you're useless. tell yourself, why are you here. because we need you. how many persons, how many bodies, but we must have one heart. to achieve the same target. this is what we call 异体同心 :)

well to those cheap people. sigh . i didnt know what are you thinking about. but the way you act makes me feel like puke. is that all you have? the way you act reflects that you have no confidence in yourself. the way you act reflects that you're nothing but just a coward. i'm sorry that we are not born to be bully by you. i'm sorry we're not what you thought of. achieve the goal that you want with your own strength. except if you don't have it. this has to be very fair. stop doing something cheap which really disgust people around you. stop before it gets worse. you don't wish that to be happen, don't you?

goodnight peeps.

i know what it takes.

2011-01-18T22:31:00.003+08:00

sick sick sick. everyone's sick . sports day. for sports day ! for yellow house ! who cares? ahhhhhh !! but i need my voice back !! what else i can do as a cheerleader if my voice is gone ?!?!?!?

who knows how to make leong cha? haha :)

i didnt know what should i update here? so many things running in my mind but i didnt know how to write it out. i can feel the emptiness. i feel empty this few days. i always stare at somewhere and thousand of things running in my mind.

i've already forgotten what am i waiting for. should i wait ? or let go.

i know what it takes. i know it can never be.

make me more busy, give me more work. i wanna stop thinking.

i can only stop thinking whenever i'm working for yellow house. so, go for yellow !

damn i guess my mid-term exam result will just like a piece of shit. i've no mood to listen in class. so tired so sleepy. my heart is all for the sports day. when something like this is happening, i can only say "oh shit ! " .

totally emo song, but i like it. so much.

《他靜悄悄地來過，他慢慢帶走沉默，只是最後的承諾，還是沒有帶走了寂寞》↓
男人曾經來過，之後他沉默的走了，曾經的承諾，不是永恆，所以還是寂寞。

《我們愛的沒有錯，只是美麗的獨秀，太折磨，她說無所謂，只要能在夜裡，翻來覆去的時候有寄託》↓
兩個相愛的人沒有錯，只是當愛情剩下一個人的時候，成了一種寂寞的折磨，但是女孩害怕尋覓新的戀情，所以只想在夜裡，有個可以思念關心的人。

《等不到天黑，煙火不會太完美，回憶燒成灰，還是等不到結尾，她曾說的無所謂，我怕一天一天被摧毀》↓
女孩自我安慰，認為愛情要熬到最後才會美麗，只是當美好的回憶都回憶完了，殘酷的現實還是沒有進展，沒有動靜。

《等不到天黑，不敢凋謝的花蕾，綠葉在跟隨，放開刺痛的滋味，今後不再怕天明我想只是害怕清醒》↓
男人還沒說分手，女孩不敢離開，就像是綠葉再追隨一朵花，苦苦的追隨，苦苦的崇拜，但最後還是得面對分手刺痛的滋味，而害怕的是每天睡醒後的清醒，而不是睡醒時分的天明。

am i still worth waiting for?

2011-01-16T12:09:00.006+08:00

oh hi my dead blog !! it's time to update. because it is hard for me to find a time, sit down, relax and online. hahahaha damn my house is like hotel for me now. school in the morning, practice in the afternoon, back home bath and dinner, meeting at night, back home and sleep. phew hectic life !!!

well senior three life is really tough, and pack. maybe it is just the beginning of the year since we all are busy for the sports day. oh yellow house. i feel yellow whenever i step into s3xiao. especially the outside of the class, freakin' yellow hahahaaa with all the yellow flags. somehow i think it does look like a temple. hahaha..

went to send alvin, jo and kev's flight yesterday. luckily i didnt shed any tears in front of you guys. it doesn't mean that i don't miss them. i miss them a lot. miss

them so much. remember all the things we've done together guys? do you remember alvin? i know you since primary 1. you were sitting beside me. ahh and until now. i've know you for almost 12 years. i remembered i hated you so much during primary six and i didnt know why. hahahah and you're always my listener. we share our stories. we share our stories. our stories. but the stories are never about US ! hahahaha. next one, jonathan c! i remembered i had a crush on him during primary four till primary six. but ahh .. ahahahah know him for very long too. i guess we only became closer this year right? :) but still miss you a lot ! and then kevin teo. i guess i know him since junior. but i hate him very much that time because of some stuff. and them i get closer with him this year. we became buddy. bro ! all the talk cock business is about this 3 dudes. although there might be sometimes they had done something that make us pissed of , but who cares? at this moment when you think back all the memories we had, you'll smile , and smile :) i miss you guys !!

time to bath. have to go school later for dancing practice. yellow house. we can do it :) we can do legendary stuff. we can we can we can :)

there's another farewell party for dan dan ! ahh :( another guy who is leaving tomorrow. damn this dude doesn't let us to send him. purposely bought the 2:50pm flight !! sigh. tonight is our last night daniel. i miss you i love you :)

you're so one in a million.

2010-12-29T22:24:00.002+08:00

here i am ! back from hongkong ! :D
the trip was okay. but there's also lot of stuff happened .. and some argument among the students and teachers. long story. but anyway it's fun ! i love my host. though they don't really have time to bring me out, but they treat me very good :) i felt myself not a good girl because i always go out with friends, but not with them. i miss all the hongkong friends, especially barium, lag gei, dino & andy ! only hang out with them like 4-5 days but closer with them than others!
waiting july 2011, dino and lag gei are coming, for tshung tsin night performance ! don't know whether barium is coming. i don't think andy is coming. anyway hoping hoping :)
i'm gonna post some of the photos and stories here after i've edit and resize all the photos ! :)

was busy of yellow house stuff after i came back these 2 days ! ahhhhh we need more power. we need help ! guys please go for the meeting ! now i know how they worked hard during the days when i was having fun in hongkong. thanks to them. you guys are great !
we aren't that lucky. but this is not the end !
"when you're thinking to give up, think about why you held on for so long" ! so, fight for it !
we can, we can. and WE CAN ! !

yellow GO GOAL GOLD !

whisper to me.

2010-12-14T19:23:00.002+08:00

seriously, is this like kinda horrible? :S

after i bath... hairs that i lost? LOLL

and this is after i dried my hair LOLLLLL

seriously i think i will soon become bald :SS

i wish i could tell them, you're mine.

2010-12-13T21:47:00.002+08:00

a friend's mother has just passed away. not really know him, and his mother too. but i always see him on stage, speech or emcee. quite an outstanding young man. sad to hear that. rest in peace aunty .
everything has an end, because nothing last forever.

what to study for chinese? no idea. have been staring at the book for quite a while lol ! all the spm mood has gone lahh. like really having my holiday now. hahaha i was still blur blur when my friend asked me," tomorrow exam till 1pm ka?" i was like LOL ya hor we're still having exam LOLLLL !
art exam today. i guess i've drawn a piece of shit hahahaha. kinda hurt yesterday, while i was practising, and my sis came , she said :" i thought you take art tuition outside???" damnn, you know what she's trying to sayyyyy... argh! this question is just so-not-good to draw ahahhahaha!

ah i'm so looking forward to the science stream prom night :) went to take the printed tickets just now ahhh it's nice :) RM50 ! kinda expensive but don't care lah. lot friends are leaving ishhhhhhh so it counted as a reunion night? so sad lahh. sigh sigh sigh sigh. can't believe this year is the last year we all stay together :( :( :(

better study now. or else my chinese will be so dead like biology :(

you can make me stop.

2010-12-11T23:20:00.003+08:00

can you see the seriousness?? . oh man. i'm gettin' bald ! i use to ask the hair stylist help me layer my hair, nipis them nipis them. LOL because they were so thick ! but now. i realised, my hair is gettin' less. omg i'm scared :S :S :S do i need to consult doctor? or, yun nan hair care? carmen and seamus said i use too much shampoo. ermmm? ya ka? hmmmm. im cuttin down already ahhh i'm scared !

my room is freakin' messy. plates, containers, bottle, papers, books, bags, clothes !!! and fruits? hahahahahahha. okay. i just cleaned up :) phewww. feel good today. cleaned up my room and uploaded all the unreleased photos :D oh wow i'm going hk next saturday, how fast :S it's about 10 degree celsius over there, need to buy some sweaters tomorrow ! ah i just bought new school shoes :) lot stuff to prepare ! take my jeans and school uniform to the tailor. 10 days 9 nights, kinda long. ah and i miss kk !

spm is ALMOST over, 3 more papers, which are i-don't-care subjects. lol . ..
hahah. ohyeah relaxing now :)

fyi dude; i didnt even blame you when he left me. i didnt even say it was because of your appearance. i , me , myself i am very clear of he's a person like that. so please
don't spread the wrong news. spoil my image. thank you very much !

OFF TO SLEEP !

but you won't do the same.

2010-12-07T15:46:00.003+08:00

damn once the computer is on and i can't stop clicking here and there though there's nothing to surf ! after this post and i'll off the comp. (hope so :X)

ohyeahyeahyeahyeah so so freakin' happy that it is almost the end already ! after biology and i'm FREE ! who cares lah art , chinese and est? hahaha. why est? i didnt know why. like. really, write about craps? hahah the more craps, the greater !

oh oh wow wow i'm looking forward to thursday! sing k sing k ! movie movie ! 3D narnia ! ah i wanna watch narnia so much so much so much. i've written out all the songs that i wanna sing yesterday HAHA. omg so damn looking forward to it ! fast biology ! fast ! fast ! i wanna shout after bio papers ;ppppp
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

ohya and there's is a very BIG ceremony tomorrow.
closing ceremony of the deactivation of facebook, for me , carmen, sack & daniel HAHAHAHA!
four geeks doing geek stuff.
FINALLY :) i miss facebook so much! (well, sometimes i curi-curi use my sister's account teehee :@)
all the activities after this freakin' exam ahh ahh ahh.
SO SAD I CAN'T GO SHITTIM CAMP :(((((((( !!!!!
i don't care. next year you guys must organize again !!!!CLASS TRIP !!!!
one of the j3 class trip also shittim camp. and carrie got bruises all over her legs. oh no.
maybe that's why my mom doesn't let me go. please. wait me! next year. ok???? GLORIA ! next year organise again!! Okayy???? ;PPP
and at this moment, i wish i could go :( SIGHH so down suddenly.

better stop thinking and go study now bha :(

day by day. and my mind goes clearer.

2010-12-03T21:51:00.002+08:00

是你的，永远都是你的；不是你的，不管你怎么挣，怎么抢，也都不会属于你

we know what it takes.

2010-12-02T17:32:00.002+08:00

其实很简单其实很自然
两个人的爱由两人分担
其实并不难是你太悲观
隔着一道墙不跟谁分享
不想让你为难
你不再需要给我个答案
我想你是爱我的
我猜你也舍不得
但是怎么说总觉得
我们之间留了太多空白格
也许你不是我的
爱你却又该割舍
分开或许是选择
但它也可能是我们的缘分
其实很简单其实很自然
两个人的爱由两人分担
其实并不难是你太悲观
隔着一道墙不跟说分享
不想让你为难
你不再需要给我个答案
我想你是爱我的
我猜你也舍不得
但是怎么说总觉得
我们之间留了太多空白格
也许你不是我的
爱你却又该割舍
分开或许是选择
但它也可能是我们的缘分
我想你是爱我的
我猜你也舍不得
但是怎么说总觉得
我们之间留了太多空白格
也许你不是我的
爱你却又该割舍
分开或许是选择
但它也可能是我们的缘分

----------------------------空白格- 蔡健雅

because,, i'm not afraid.

如果要爱, 就彻底地爱.

2010-12-02T17:16:00.005+08:00

oh yeah babe physics and addmath are over :)
hahaha i guess most of my friends already know what had happened to me during the addmath paper. wao totally bad day ! mom's alarm wasn't work. we both slept until 7:50am ! and exam starts on 8:00am !! oh my god i dont know how to thank sack sack !! thank you so much. if she didn't call me i guess my result for add math would be "tidak hadir" ! and freakin' damn that smk bahang ! i guess it's not their faul. just dont know what the hell the pentaksir (dont know from which freakin' stupid school) was thinking lah. our school also told us if u are late or what you can just take your exam at the nearest school. freak you ! you made me almost cannot sit for the exam !! phewww. well everything is over ! it's truly a bad day, but still very very lucky.

first, lucky that sack gave me a call, woke me up !
second, we almost get into an accident ! but we didn't. pheww
third, luckily that chinese teacher went up to the class(in smk bahang) to find that pentaksir, or else, after i finish the paper also useless !
fourth, it was freakin' jam but luckily mom still manage to 'drift' to the school before 8:30am!
fifth, they said i still can sit for the exam before 8:30am, and i reached the classroom at EXACTLY 8:30am ! phewwwwww
still, very lucky !

no next time. imma set alarm myself already ;pppp

yellow house'11 second station tomorrow :DD ohyeah there will be a water battle between US, the xiaoss, and the kids ! wooooooooooo
yellow yellow yellow. we are so so yellow ! !

黄蜂疯全场气势非凡涌四方
oh yellow go goal gold ! 超级无敌勇夺冠 !!

our mascot ! BUMBLE BEEE :DDDD

ARE YOU YELLOW ENOUGH? like us? ;pp

happy birthday dan dan :D

how did we get here?

2010-11-30T15:04:00.005+08:00

5 down 7 more to go. well, seemed kinda fast isn't it? haha !

the previous 5 papers, i think i wasn't stress or what at all. lol what the hell am i doing? too relaxing. did you realise many of us feeling more stress in mock exam than spm? yea me too. i was so stress and afraid that time. and that was the time i transformed hahaha. sighh now? lazy and no feel ;ppp

but now. i can finally feel the stress. coming papers, addmath, phy, chem, bio. i wish i could really do well in add math. my addmath was like shit last year, ahaaa i never pass it :) and this year i can really do it well, so i hoping for high grades. hope i can do it !!!! STRESS. science subjects are my worst subject. and i'm wondering why am i choosing science stream. like digging a hole for myself to fall into it. i really need a good result on this 4 subjects, i may be using the results for applying uni. so, please ! bless me !!!!!!!!!

and this few days i was thinking about something. about my future? where to go. money money. scholarship scholarship. good grades. money money. study. money money. well, i guess the biggest problem is, financial problem. really have to find a way, after spm. so much research to do after that !

can't even take a good nap now. i feel stress. gotta work out some of the addmath papers, and then if okay, i;ll read physics.
10.30pm i must off to bed !!! energy must be fully-charged for addmaths paper :)))

love needs courage.

2010-11-28T14:09:00.005+08:00

so picking up the pieces now where to begin
the hardest part of ending is starting again.

----- Waiting for the End, Linkin Park.

爱，能让一个人充满力量，也能让一个人堕落到谷底。
它能是你生活中的全部，你会那么有精力，努力地去做每一件事情，是因为它。
当它开始侵蚀你生活的每一部分，这是危险期的开始。
因为，你仿佛是为了它在活，它是你拼命的理由。

真的如果有一天，你没有了它，你的生活还剩下什么? 你是这样对你自己说的。
真的很痛苦，不管在做什么，去到哪里，哪个角落，哪一条街，都是她/他的影子。
你要怎么走出来？真的很痛很痛。
就算被伤得全身是痛，你仍想着他／她．因为你真的太爱她／他了．
你努力在别人面前笑，显得自己多么潇洒，多么不在意．
夜深人静，你一个人时候，回忆闹得多么凶，你根本骗不了自己．
“世上最残酷的恐怕是时间，困住人，一切却还向前”

如果爱都一定会结束，
谁会愿意在爱情来临的时候，就已经开始去预测结束的那天。
如果真的没有一场恋爱是有永远的，如果每一场恋爱都有尽头，
那我们是不是都应该不要把爱看得那么重？我们是不是应该都不要爱得那么深？
那我们是不是都要去预测结束的那天，去让自己不要那么受伤？

是不是聪明的人，在越陷越深的时候，还懂得拉自己一把，不要再陷下去。
他们是爱得不够深，还是他们够聪明，不想到头来伤的是自己。
但却没有想过，其实他们却伤了对方。

就算你们有多爱彼此，谁也无法预知未来，没有人知道以后的事情．
你不知道下一分钟会发生什么？明天？后天？
珍惜对方？你珍惜他，他是否会珍惜你？

是不是真的没有永远？是不是真的没有真爱？
那我们为何要爱？

“时间会告诉你一切真相。
有些事情，要等到你渐渐清醒了，才明白它是个错误。
有些东西，要等到你真正放下了，才知道它的沉重。　”

all the regrets .

2010-11-27T22:48:00.002+08:00

i feel heartache today. i found out something. and i realised something.

once you fallen deeply for someone, and yet they hurt you. everything can be change, 360 degree change. even for the first time, everything done. that's all. why? why the reality can be that cruel? i was once in this kind of situation too. it was like, yea everything really lost at the very moment, you lost all the feelings that you had before. and you tried hard to find it back, but it just can't be there anymore. it had come to the end.

i wish i were a superwoman , with a lot of plasters or what. i wish i could heal people who are hurt. i feel heartache seeing them like that. i felt helpless i couldn't comfort them. so stupid. i wish i could. i wish i were. i know they're hurt, but i didnt know how to let them know that i knew. i can't tell

love like this. we should ask them stop hurting, or ask them stop falling too deeply. or should ask them appreciate who's in front of them. really. appreciate if she/he is the right one. i feel heartache. i feel heartache for the friends that around me who met with the situation like this.

a love like this. an end like this.

be my christmas present.

2010-11-26T18:50:00.002+08:00

it was tired than what i thought of. walaooooo so so tired. can't believe that just one class already so tired. the other houses confirm tired than us oh leading two classes. freakin' sun was freakin' big and hot just now. all of us were tanned i guess. mine, especially at the nose part. sigh. so tired now. so so tired. so so so tired. 腰酸背痛! i was running here and there with sack. didnt know that this post can be that tired. my throat is going to spoil soon. today already like kinda over already shouted too much :(
anyway, i love junior one he. haha they're cute. sigh pity for that cutie that fell down. hope his head will be okay soon. and luckily his mom wasn't angry. aha i remember samuel lo and raymond yong the sean kingston. ahha they're cute ! kids are naughty yet cute. just need be more patient with them. well i dislike kids, so now i have to be good with them, talk to them more! :)

i think next friday will be better. water games. yeahhhh! i like it. and all the kids like it too ;P
come yo rock and roll in the field yo yellow house!!! yo yo yo yo..

p/s : feeling like i'm senior three already huhuhu !

irreplaceable.

2010-11-25T18:24:00.007+08:00

sejarah paper was just a piece of shyt . mannnn all the questions totally out of expectation. what we have spotted, all the ramalan, excel papers. what we have expected. what the hell man! where's my perang dunia I? wawasan 2020? gerakan islah? kemasukan buruh?? dayeeemm.. hate man hate man. please give me just an A- or A . it's enough for me :(
BUT! glad that there's NO MORE SEJARAH after today ! WOHOOOOOOO !!

so now, yeappp 3 days break. i'm gonna use it to the fullest ! no time to be waste. nyehhhh

i feel exhausted now. after burning and blowing the flags, inhaled too much carbon dioxide. suffocating !!! really. . . tired! hope the junior will appreciate our flags ;) all our hard work and sweats ! hoping for the best, and good weather tomorrow please !

YELLOW HOUSE'11 FIRST STATION . 26/11 !
go go go !! 黄蜂疯全场! :DD
ohyaaa it is someone's birthday tomorrow. huhuhuhu mr.dan dan !

what the hell man i'm hungry now :(

special.

2010-11-23T21:03:00.006+08:00

if you loved two persons at the same time, pick the second one. Because, if you truly love the first one, you would never look at the second one.

transforming.

2010-11-22T01:01:00.000+08:00

SPM.

我同你死过!!

单身的原因

2010-11-22T00:46:00.002+08:00

越长大，越难和另一个人在一起。

不是因为条件。
还是有人喜欢你，你也活得比以前更好，
不再那么任性，更像在投资的艺术品。

也不是因为对爱情死心。
在KTV突然听到的某首歌，会让你不自禁模糊了视线。
一些场景，一些气息，始终无法忘怀。
朋友帮你介绍时，你也会满心期待。

但却依然单身。
闭上眼睛吹蜡烛的时候，总是希望身边有另一个人一起许愿。
一些客气的场合，有人来搭讪，话题围绕着你单身的原因。
而他们最后给出的结论是，你太挑了。你在心里面笑，所以其他人都不挑？

其实你自己知道，为什么不能好好谈一场恋爱。

就是因为，你太清楚自己是怎样的一块料，
所以不会再轻而易举把自己交出去。
就像是，有一天你发现跌倒以后的伤口，会开始留下疤痕，
于是走路时不敢再大步跨出去。

因为，你惯性太强、记性太好。
认识一个人很简单，忘记一个人很困难。
你曾经心满意足的闭上眼睛，让另一个人带你去任何地方，
最后却差点回不来。所以不能再失去方向感。

于是你就变得胆小了。
以前喜欢男/女生有幽默感，现在更在乎安全感。
以前打电话找不到人就拼命的打，现在发了短信没回应，即使心中有波动也可以忍住。
以前最有兴趣的话题是对方的过去，现在会先关心这份感情有没有未来。

所以，空暇的时候，
你宁愿和朋友在烈日下逛街，也不愿让对方觉得自己很在乎什么。
你安慰自己，有朋友就够了，一个人生活也很好。
你忘记了当另一个人男/女朋友的感觉，
当那个人出现时，你开始慌张、害怕。

只是，你并不是一定要单身，
就像你也没计划过一定用哪只手写字。
不过是，既然如此了那就这样吧。

你想要有人一起旅行，一起看电影。
你想和那个人说自己准备好了，只是没有勇气，请对方多一点耐心。
你想说不再需要太多惊喜，在心里等的是一份相守以望的感情，
抬起头来相视而笑，安心的生活，如此而已。

好想拥抱你

2010-11-22T00:45:00.001+08:00

喜欢拥抱，喜欢与心爱的人深情相拥的感觉；
什么也不用说，什么也不做，就只是静静地拥抱，久久不要分开；
似乎只有这样，才能体会与心爱的人真正溶为一体的真实感。
在那一刻，相信时间也会为我们停止的。

好想拥抱你
那个可以让你依靠的胸膛一定是很温暖的，肩膀也一定很坚实。
不然为什么大家在伤心哭泣的时，总想能找个肩膀来依靠；
其实更多地是想要一个拥抱吧。

拥抱的时候，内心会溢满一种叫甜蜜的情愫，
拥抱的感觉是真实和安全的，
因为拥抱是有温度的，
拥抱是有声音的。

拥抱有很多
情侣间的拥抱，是幸福甜蜜的；
夫妻间的拥抱，是宽容理解的；
朋友间的拥抱，是贴心信任的；
吵架后的拥抱，代表妥协与原谅；
相逢后的拥抱，代表思念与激动；
离别前的拥抱，代表不舍与期待。

拥抱，是无声的语言；
拥抱，是最简单的接受与认可；
拥抱的时候，彼此是被需要的，被别人需要是时候，是一个人最有价值的时候。

当一个女人从背后抱着你的时候，请一定别再挪动脚步，
而请转过身，紧紧抱着自己的女人。
因为，当一个女人愿意从背后深情抱着你的时候，
代表着她把自己的身心都交给了你，那拥抱里，有着太多太多的爱。

当一个男人从背后拥抱着自己的女人，两人的感觉是温馨和甜蜜的；
当一个女人从背后拥抱着自己的男人，女人是无声的祈求，而男人是心的复归和宁静。

好想在累的时候你能抱着我，
在累的时候，好想你能在身边，
无需太多言语，只要一个拥抱，再苦再累都值！

好想能够在你累的时候，从身后环住你的腰，把脸轻轻靠在你的后背，
静静地，无需语言，用心灵对话，倾听彼此内心的声音。

拥抱，真这么遥不可及吗？

请相信：我会用我的双臂，在你看到我的第一眼时拥你入怀。

baby G again ;D

2010-11-19T20:13:00.003+08:00

liau's new watch ! so nice !!

like like like.

saw this from a mag. i think it's only available in taiwan. niceeeeeeeee

i want baby g watch!!

because i love you. the sweetest ever.

2010-11-15T22:22:00.002+08:00

以前喜欢男生有幽默感，现在更在乎安全感。以前最有兴趣的话题是对方的过去，现在会先关心这份感情有没有未来。
-- zhi qing's tweet :)

i think i'm gonna stop blogging after this post until spm ends.
like nothing to post already. hu hu . . .

life without my handphone, and my watch. = sucks !!!

talking to the moon.

2010-11-10T21:34:00.003+08:00

now my room is full with notes on the walls, or anywhere that i walk pass always. all those moral nilais. hahaaa hope that this way will work out. ohya and all those important topics for sejarah and bm too :) final countdown 13 days !

mock results were same as my expectation. worst subject is chemistry. yup but out of my expectation , i didnt know i could get such low marks. hahahha but i not really feel sad because i knew it. but i really have to work hard on chemistry. next year syllabus will be more difficult and it gets deeper. and i'm still thinking, should i take physics? am i heading to engineering courses? i'm definitely not physics material. so how? hmmmmmmmmmm

i love house discussion ! can't wait until 26/11 & 3/12 :DD
ARE YOU YELLOW ENOUGH???

chemistry! here i come. please let me fall in love with you.

thanks for the sky and ocean .

2010-11-06T22:25:00.003+08:00

i love the number, 20. and now i fell in love with another number, 83. hahaha i don't know why. there's a lot shoes rack in my church. but i always choose to put at no.83 . first sight, feeling, six sense or whatever. i just love it ;)

can't believe that spm is actually 16 days from now. and lol i'm still can't feel the stress, 不见棺材不落泪．hahaha.. dayemm i cannot go out anymore. my mom is getting strict this few days. keep on nagging me , though i was just blogging ! grr. no more no more. i can just lock myself in the room now and read, read and read. please , please please finish it quickly ! i can't wait until holidays !! all the hang out, all the trip, all the movies. ahhhh !

monday will be a disastrous day. first, spm mock result. i already know i did badly in this exam. too rush. i didn't manage to finish all the chapters. i just roughly read through it and understand the basic concept. sigh. i can be good if i really put all my effort in and give more hard work. i can. but now this time i failed to. i must really do it well in spm :(

can i just throw away my phone? feel so lazy to reply messages. crap.

carmen's seventeen.

2010-11-06T21:58:00.004+08:00

the birthday girl ;DD

da fu ni mwah!

the girls.

the guys.

awww !

lami grp

so into tekken !

happy aye?

sigh she's so freakin' tall !!

girlsss

do we look drunk? hahahaah

Sweeeet.

more and more crap.

2010-11-05T23:42:00.003+08:00

i just finished 张小娴's 三月里的幸福饼 today.

quite a mature book. because of the author i guess. not very interesting. but it did mentioned something that is really true. something that we often meet, we do face sometimes. the reality is cruel. people live for something they think it is worth for living. people fight for something they think they can't live without. and they do lose something too. or when something happened, you can only choose one. instead of both.

"也许，每个女人都希望生命中有一个杨弘念，一个徐文治
一个是你无法触摸的男人，一个脚踏实地．一个被你伤害，为你受苦，另一个让你伤心．一个只适宜作情人，另一个却可以长相厮守．一个是火，燃烧生命，一个是水，滋养生命。女人可以没有火，却不能没有水。"

"为什么我们总是不懂得珍惜眼前人？在未可预知的重逢里，我们以为总会重逢，总是会有缘再会，总以为有机会说一声对不起，却从没想过每一次挥手道别，都可能是诀别，每一声叹息，都可能是人间最后的一声叹息。"

"爱，是美在无法拥有。"

lucky

2010-11-05T21:25:00.002+08:00

some people are just born to be luckier than others. don't you think so?

maybe i am not the one. i envy those who are lucky. they must be have done something good in past life. i guess i've done a lot of bad stuff. therefore i met shits like this.

should have just move on. all these shits are not the most important for me now. what am i doing? i'm so freakin' dumb wasting time on these shits. should have spend my time on reading, revision, or others. life is tough. we have to keep on moving, not stopping for unnecessary and something that doesn't worth. treat yourself better. manage your time well. manage your emotion perfectly. do the right things at the right time. this is what i should do. i have to tell myself stop being ridiculous. stop being so-not-me. stand up straight and move on ! there's a bigger challenge in front of me to breakthrough. what for? to achieve victory, do not let yourself down. stand up after you fell down.

i will be okay. i always do.

if you can feel the pain,

2010-11-05T00:32:00.004+08:00

so this is me, swallowing my pride standing in front of you. saying i'm sorry for that night.

i can find no one.
i don't wanna trouble anyone of you.

i wish all these shits had never happened before.
it is like. when you're sitting inside the car, looking all the scene from the window.
all the flashback. and your mind went blank.
even if you're listening to rock , pop clubbing songs.
your tears still burst out. you can;t even control it, it just burst.
if you can feel the pain.

i should be angry.
i should be.
why?
i wanna leave all of these. i wanna run away. get out of this mess. start all over again.
because the fact is, i'm tired.

p.s. somehow i wish 2010 ends faster.
this is such a shit year. i feel hard going through each day.

2010 is going to end.

2010-11-03T20:53:00.003+08:00

unreleased photos :p

...

hahahahhaa........ this is just too funny ;p

slam dunk !!

sack i found this and your expression is so funny !!

too vui le ! !

this year is going to end soon :(
i miss s2xiao.
we must have a farewell party for all those who's leaving !

wrong.

2010-11-03T20:14:00.008+08:00

had my extra tooth extracted just now.
should have extracted two. because i have two extra teeth.
but one on the left side, another on the right side. he said cannot extra both at once.
so have to go back after 5 days.
6 hours to clot. omg . the hole is so deep man. my mom said she saw my tooth very long o.O !
eww. but i really can't feel it when he pulled it out. the anesthetic is too strong.
but now i can feel it :(
wait, how am i gonna brush later?

like this
"How can anyone be afraid of love?

How can they not?

When you love someone, truly love them, friend or lover,
you lay your heart open to them.
You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else,
and you let them inside a part of you that only then can hurt you
literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest
and most painfully on your heart and soul.

And when they do strike, it's crippling-like having your heart carved out.
It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them
want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them.

What is wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you?
That no one can love you?

To have it happen is bad enough - but to have it repeated?
Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?"

i'm bored. alone at home now. feel like wanna go out yamcha.
anyone please drive me out . haha my P license is kinda useless :(
ohyaa , i got myself a new notebook yesterday :)
and now i realised my notebook collection box is full !!
have to get myself a new box ;) i love notebooks !
marathon math tuition starts tomorrow !
gahh. 8:30am , 3 hours ! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i have to do the exercises now.

it is SOMEONE's birthday tomorrow.
:D

2010-11-01T20:04:00.003+08:00

最值得深爱的星座排名 ------
第一名:双鱼座；
第二名:天蝎座；
第三名:水瓶座；
第四名:射手座；
第五名:狮子座；
第六名:天秤座；
第七名:巨蟹座；
第八名:白羊座；
第九名:双子座；
第十名:摩羯座；
第十一名:金牛座；
第十二名:处女座。

受伤后仍然傻乎乎相信爱情的星座：
第一名:天蝎座；
第二名:双鱼座；
第三名:水瓶座；
第四名:射手座；
第五名:魔羯座；
第六名:双子座；
第七名:巨蟹座；
第八名:狮子座；
第九名:天秤座；
第十名:白羊座；
第十一名:金牛座；
第十二名:处女座。
你还是傻乎乎的吗？

最会保护女朋友的星座排行：
第1名:天蝎座；
第2名:魔羯座；
第3名:巨蟹座；
第4名:白羊座；
第5名:金牛座；
第6名:狮子座；
第7名:处女座；
第8名:双鱼座；
第9名:天秤座；
第10名:双子座；
第11名:水瓶座；
第12名:射手座。
你合格了吗没拖后腿吧？

12星座最骄傲排行榜 ------
第一名:处女座；
第二名:天蝎座；
第三名:摩羯座；
第四名:双子座；
第五名:水瓶座；
第六名:狮子座；
第七名:金牛座；
第八名:射手座；
第九名:天平座；
第十名:巨蟹座；
第十一名:白羊座；
第十二名:双鱼座。
------ 今天你骄傲了吗？

十二星座为何情场失意 ------
处女座：经常充满无助感；
巨蟹座：奋不顾身谈恋爱；
摩羯座：自欺欺人；
双鱼座水瓶座：一厢情愿；
狮子座：过分热情；
金牛座：盲目牺牲；
天秤座白羊座：凡事都要平等；
射手座：十分害怕孤独；
双子座：道德标准太高；
天蝎座：性与爱完全奉献。

【你今天心动了吗？用情最深的星座排名】------
第一名:白羊座；
第二名:金牛座；
第三名:双鱼座；
第四名:狮子座；
第五名:处女座；
第六名:天蝎座；
第七名:魔羯座；
第八名:巨蟹座；
第九名:射手座；
第十名:天秤座；
第十一名:水瓶座；
第十二名:双子座。

有点经典
女人会记得让她笑的男人，男人会记得让他哭的女人，可是女人总是留在让她哭的男人身边，男人却留在让他笑的女人身边。------ 在爱的世界里，没有谁对不起谁，只有谁不懂得珍惜谁。

flaw.

2010-11-01T18:46:00.002+08:00

有些感觉，因为一次的失去就找不回了。

quote of the day !

2010-10-31T22:49:00.003+08:00

True courage is not found in short tempers ; it lies in composed forbearance.

-Daisaku Ikeda-

觉悟

2010-10-31T19:21:00.002+08:00

爱情
你追求的是那一种？

现实踏实的，还是犯践的那一类？

犯践？为什么？
有些人，你明知道他不可能是你的未来，他根本给不到你一个安全踏实的未来。
但你就是很爱他。你明知道不可能。你明知道到最后弄得自己伤痕累累。
但你拼了。哪怕短短时间的，来个轰轰烈烈的爱。犯践。

即现实又踏实。
他不是你最爱的。你们感觉不是很深。
但是你懂，你和他在一起，你们的未来，你们以后的生活，会是稳定的。
你有了他，以后日子，可以安全放心地过。你相信感情是可以培养的，你需要有未来的未来。
所以，你选择了这么的一个他。

人，难免会犯践。
你明知道自己错了。你明知道自己的选择错了，你明知道朋友的劝告是对的。
但你又觉得，自己还年轻，何不选择自己喜欢的东西。人生有多少个十年？这种人不完全错。
不过，人越大，心机会变成熟。
你开始懂了，你看开了，你变得现实了。你不小了，是该定性了。
你开始寻觅一个现实，踏实的爱情。你看远了。你看到以后的生活。
有些人，要经历很多才看得懂，自己真正是需要什么。
当你开始遇到一个对的人的时候，你懂了。你知道自己是该负责任了。你，稳了。
但一个让你能有安稳的未来的人，不容易找。

一对情侣，他们如果能真的认真严肃地去讨论他们的未来。
他们的感情真的很稳，他们计划将来。为自己，对方，还有彼此的未来打算。
他们真的很幸福。
做人要现实，面包白水是吃不饱的。成天嬉皮笑脸你爱我我爱你，是没有用的。
人要改变，要为自己着想，要去努力。爱情不是一切。

看得越多，经历的越多，你磨练得越多，你越明白，你越成熟。
人，都是从伤痛里成长的。
一个成功的人，背后有多少故事？没有人清楚。
人不能只是看表面。在你了解及认识一个人之前，你不能一贯决定这个人的品格。
每个人背后都有故事。每一个故事，都是那么珍贵。
你没有经历过的话，你真的没有资格批评。
每个人都在不同的环境下成长，他的性格，或许来自那个环境。所以要学会接受。
每个人都有一些难顶的地方，要学习去接受。包括你自己，也许也是有别人无法忍受的地方。

每个人，如果能够学习包容，接受，宽恕，原谅。
世界就真的很美丽了。

女生们

2010-10-29T12:29:00.000+08:00

1.收到甜言蜜語的短信，記得微笑，然後刪除。

2.想辦法努力賺錢，而不是如何省錢。

3.憤怒的時候，數到30，再說話。

4.喜歡的東西自己努力買，不要指望別人送。

5.少喝果汁多吃水果，少吃零食多喝水，少坐多站，少想多看，少說多做，少懷舊多憧憬。

6.永遠不會再有第二個男人像爸爸這樣愛你，所以最愛的男人當然是爸爸。

7.不要24小時都想念同一個人。可以分一點給家人和朋友。

8.不要認為找個有錢男人就什麼都有了。世界上年輕的女孩子，多的就像貨櫃上的可樂，喝不喝都無所謂。

9.吃下去的就堅決不再吐出來，所以吃之前要想清楚。

10.寂寞的時候，不要聽慢歌，懷舊或者膩死在網上，站起來做運動或者去找朋友八卦。

11.看透的時候，假裝沒看透。

12.工作的你，和遊手好閒的你，絕對不是同一個人。

13.做好防曬，但記得適當地曬曬太陽。心情也會進行光合作用。真的。

14.真正看中的東西就買，不要借錢，想清楚之後再決定，決定之後就不要後悔。

15.銀行卡的密碼不要用男友的生日。

16.永遠不向從前的戀人訴苦。

17.出門之前，根據步行的時間和強度考慮要穿的鞋子。

18.要讀好書,陶冶情操,提高品位。

19.可以淘便宜的衣服，但記得自己的品位比這個價位高。

20.桌上的護膚品永遠比化妝品多，貴，好，對於女人來說外養不如內調。

21.養成寫日記的習慣，哪怕隻言片語。

22.可以不認同，但學會尊重。

23.注重內心，但不忽略外表。

24.做不了決定的時候，讓時間幫你決定。如果還是無法決定，做了再說。寧願犯錯，不留遺憾!

25.打電話的時候記得微笑，對方聽的見。

26.每月記帳，每月儲蓄。

27.瞭解潮流，但不必跟風。

28.看起來多大年齡，就有多大年齡。

29.相信愛情和mr.right的存在，在此之前也不拒絕和mr.wrong們分享人生。

30.如果發短資訊給你喜歡的人，他不回。不要再發

31.不要為了任何人任何事折磨自己。比如不吃飯、哭泣、自閉、抑鬱，這些都是傻瓜才做的事。當然，偶爾傻一下有必要，人生不必時時聰明

32.穿有質感的衣服，找有品質的男朋友。他不一定很有錢，但是一定要能讓你有安全感和開心。

33.如果決定離開一個人，行動要快一點，快刀斬亂麻；如果決定愛上一個人，時間拉長一點，看清楚是否適合你。

34.閒情時候自己煮花茶煮咖啡喝，或者做茶點吃，放一段柔情音樂，翻閱幾頁好書，然後睡個懶覺，快哉。

35.學會承受痛苦。有些話，適合爛在心裡，有些痛苦，適合無聲無息的忘記。當經歷過，你成長了，自己知道就好。

36.任何場合，保持應有的涵養。學會說謝謝、辛苦您、對不起。做錯了事情要懂得道歉和改過。

说我爱你改变不了什么

2010-10-28T19:28:00.004+08:00

曾经说好了永远一起要摘下最远的星星
被你拥抱的幸福还温暖着我
你曾那样笃定爱着我才让现在的我们
不忍心说出口我不爱你了

:张芸京----我不爱你了
keep spinning in my head today.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

biology paper 1 is worse than paper 2.
i wonder who's the one setting the paper. i doubt at leng mary.
haha . she can set such high cabaran paper ka? maybe ms.voo! hahaa

2 more to go. go !
the worst subjects of mine ever. physics and chemistry :(

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

好想拥有
这么一个人，
就算去到哪里，就算分隔多远，在茫茫人海中，我们的心还是紧扣着。
就这么一个人，一个他，就足够了。

human

2010-10-25T23:11:00.003+08:00

they always realize how important of the thing they love after they lost it. that is human. they never feel contented of what they are having now. they want to have more. they demand for more. after seeking and going through the crowd, they just realized, what they had before was actually the best. but it was too late.

something that belongs to you, will always belong to you, no matter how far apart.
something that doesn't belong to you, no matter how hard you try to push, you'll never get them.

sweetest drug.

2010-10-25T20:06:00.004+08:00

BG1301-7A
this is sooooo nice !! green and white :D

bg-1300pp-7
baby g puppy series :D

BGA101-7B
colorful ;)

BGD100-7A
blue and white. the color match so well :D

so wrong that i bought solvil watch :(
should have bought baby g lahhh ! yeeeeeee like them very much !

if you're the one, i swear . i'll wait for you.

2010-10-24T22:18:00.003+08:00

你现在想着谁
有没有和我相同的感觉
固执等着谁
却惊觉已无法倒退
曾经想一起飞
在自己心中盖了座花园
把你的一切都种在这个地点
却像鱼守在里面

----------- 无眠-苏打绿

bad day bad day.
today is such a bad day.
i felt freaking guilty that i forgot your birthday. i am really sorryyyy !!
i shouldn't depend on facebook, i should remember it.
though you said you not very care about it,
but i still felt guilty. and that stupid surprise . ahhh it ruined my day.

everything isn't going smooth today.
first is this, second is duty only got 6 people, then is the girl, sorry for asking her to wait so long .
sighhhhhhhhhhhh total failure.
didnt study anything in this 2 days. even more stupid !! GRR

very down lah
i don't even have the mood to study . HAIHHHHHHH